Can Christ be at the heart of everything?

As I look back on my life, there were many years where I was blissfully unaware of pain and sorrow. That all came tumbling down when I hit high school. Disease and stress pushed my family to the breaking point and beyond. I knew first-hand what it felt like to have pain, sorrow, and brokenness on a scale that has never been rivaled. Fights, harsh words, and tears permeated life for the first three years of high school. Much of it was my own fault. I began to see the brokenness in my own life. I was an arrogant toe-rag who thought he was better than everyone else, but outwardly was self-effacing. I was living the Christian life, but without the core to drive it.

Where would a Christian be without Christ? Up the creek without a paddle heading towards Victoria Falls. Christians never have it easy. It comes with the virtue of being the target of Satan almost all the time. Persecution, sin, awareness of sin, expectations to live to the Law. They all serve to reveal the depth of brokenness in this world, most deeply seen in my own heart. But without Christ, you don't have your support. You are without the friend that keeps you going when you're down, that puts things into perspective for you. Basically, to be Christian without Christ is to call the worst you can endure without a way to endure it.

Christ is at the center of all my pain, as my partner in life, the one who mentors me. He gives me kind words to soothe my hurts and the loving embrace to quiet the crying. But then I wonder, if he is all of this, but also the master of the universe... Why does life suck so much?

The answer is one that I can't even imagine. How deep would my relationship be with Christ if everything went perfectly? Pretty shallow probably. I see this even with my best friends. They are the ones who have been there for the awfulness. They know my weaknesses and deepest desires because they've seen them laid bare. I cling to Christ in trial, and He never fails me. Every time, I am amazed by the goodness shown to me in bringing me through the pain.

All I know is that in my pain, Christ has never been better for me. He must be, and is, as good for me now in my pain and sorrow as he was when he took iron nails through his wrists and feet to be crucified. Great to say, but oh Lord, make it the truth my heart rests on forever.